Category: Writers Block
I dedicated this poem, obviously, here goes. Tell me what you think.
River Full of Sadness
We ride on boats
On the river full of madness
Looking down into the water
You've never seen your reflection
You've never seen the direction
We take, or the way the connection
Will break, or the way the infection
Of insanity remakes me, rebreaks me,
Retakes me and reshapes me ...
You could walk on water
Like Jesus, like an angel, maybe
You were a lost angel, a falling angel
An angel with clouds in your eyes
If plastic hearts took the time to realize
Before they were broken open, sugared blood flowing,
Maybe they wouldn't be gone, but still here ...
Soul full of songs of madness
You relinquished on to a river of sadness
Given over to your self-imposed silence
Given over to your lover, the emptiness.
Are you here or are you there?
Will you stay or will you go?
Are you then or are you now?
Have you gone out beyond the stars?
Between the places out so far
In the dark dawnless skies
We will fall into the stars
We will become a sunrise
Temporary, momentary,
Sunshine washes cool and bright,
Bittersweetened winter light,
I would hold you in the night,
I wish that you could win this fight ...
Sounds of life and death decide
Whose time it is now to die
Who is living the ultimate lie
Who is watching from the outside ...
Shadow that we might have known,
Shadow that wandered away one night,
Shadow that was lost beyond sight
Beneath the darkening tides,
Come fly with us one last time,
Show us the way out into the sunshine
And beyond the cold metal moonlight
To whom our faces turn in worchip.
Love, silence, sadness and grace
The morning rises on a sleeping face,
You have departed this cold lonely place,
You have left an echoing space ...
Echoes, silence, madness and grace,
We'll turn our eyes to the sun's face
And try to find you in its rays
Perhaps walking on the path of its light,
Perhaps singing in its glorious rise,
Perhaps lamenting as it rolls off the world.
Echoes, silence, madness, infinity,
Maybe we'll walk out into eternity
Maybe we'll find you, out on infinity,
Out on the steppes and the ledges of Time
Who will decide when it's time to die ...
Requiem eternal,
Singer immortal,
Do you live behind the sun
With the ghosts the moon left behind?
Oh wow Iyana, that's a really lovely poem.
I love to write-- and I really try to (haven't posted anything on this sight though), but I can't let it flow as smoothly as you did, or write a poem that long for that matter.
Mostly, I just loved how the words flowed; it just all flows together.
Nice job.
thanks lia. very nice. :)
I love this poem! There is great flow, rhythm, and diction in this piece. And I am absolutely in love with the rhyme scheme! It is so eccentric. You also have some great imagery and feeling here. Fabulous work!
I unconsciously seem to come up with my own brand-new rhyme schemes...and time signatures too, when I do take the time to write music, you can tell I'm a self-taught writer (books/poetry/music). Thanks. :) I tried...And of my pitiful collection it might be the best, but anyone who knows me knows that if they want to preserve my writing they have to steal it or, in a fit of perfectionistic frustration I might destroy it... lol anyway. Off now, I'm rambling. Thanks again... I do appreciate feedback, so I know what I need to fix.
I should have titled the topic better--River Full of Sadness/Nick Drake, so it wouldn't confuse people. lol
verry touching.
Why fix anything. I liked it the way it is and in poetry the whole point is to express your thoughts in any form you wish. If it were proes then maybe, but it's not.